Are you an Early Bird or a Night Owl?

Are you the kind of person who rises at the crack of dawn, full of energy and vim and raring to go, eager to get down to the day’s business?  Do you begin to noticeably slow down in the late afternoon, run out of steam at the onset of evening, and shut down completely by around nine at night, with just enough strength left to drag yourself off to bed, completely and utterly drained?

Or are you the type of person who grudgingly hauls himself out of bed somewhat later in the morning, sluggish and dull-eyed, good for very little, and then as the day wears on you build up a head of steam that keeps you going through the day, into the evening and well into the night, long after the early riser has retired for the day?

Early Bird kit

In other words, are you a so-called ‘early bird’ or a ‘night owl’? A day-time person or a night-time person? An early riser/retirer or a late riser/retirer? Do you greet the dawn or welcome the dusk?

For my part, I definitely come within the second category and have always been thus, as far as I can recall. I have difficulty in getting up early and when I am up it takes me some while to become fully ‘functional’, but once I get going, my energy levels gradually begin to rise and then stay high throughout the rest of the day, into the evening, and on into the night, long after the early riser, who started the day off with a bang, has retired to bed for the night, dead to the world.

But there is a very real problem with my particular ‘modus vivendi’ or energy pattern, and the problem is that it is not generally facilitated by society. The way society is structured patently favours the early riser, and nowhere is this more evident than in the world of work. Working hours are geared to suit the person who rises early and is fully functional from the word go. Most employees have to be at work between the hours of 8 and 9 in the morning and must be ready, often after an exhausting commute to their place of work, to go into action as soon as they arrive at work. By the time they start to visibly slow down, it’s pretty-well time to clock off for the day anyway. There are of course exceptions to this (for example, top executives and night/shift workers), but by and large this is the working pattern that is universal in today’s society.

Inevitably, those who, like me, have difficulty in keeping to the predominant work pattern, find life as an employee well-nigh impossible, where punctuality in the morning is of the essence, something which was always a problem for me when, as an employee, I worked a 9-5 day. Of course, though the hours of work were 9am to 5.15pm, to be precise, the actual time taken up in work-related activity was much greater, as I had to get myself ready and get to work in the first place, so there might be up to two hours spent in preparing myself and then commuting to work, and of course there would be another hour of travel at the other end of the day to get back home. So the work-related day was more like 7.30 am to 6.30 pm – 11 hours! Personally, I found it an exhausting and  soul-destroying routine, though I recognise that many people do not see it that way, especially.. yes, you've guessed it... the early birds.

Let's see what the late late late film is about

Another social disadvantage to being a night owl or late riser is the stigma attached to it. We're usually branded lazy or work-shy or given a number of other unflattering labels. Yet I feel this attitude is due to widespread ignorance of the fundamental differences that exist between human beings in terms of energy levels, what we today call ‘biorhythm’. I firmly believe that whether one person is an early bird and another a night owl is determined by their biorhythm. In other words, that it is an innate genetic characteristic that allows one person to effortlessly rise early in the morning and prevents another from doing the same. I believe we’re all hard-wired from birth with a certain biorhythm that stays with us throughout our life and determines the way we function physically. This does not mean of course that an early riser cannot push himself to go on working into the evening or night or that a late riser cannot force himself to get up early for work. But it does mean that doing so is going against the grain and is costly to both in terms of mental and physical well-being. The stress and strain of trying to fit into a behavioural pattern that is not natural to the person has repercussions on his health, simply because he or she is going against their natural biorhythm.

Today, having already been self-employed for many years, it is a long time ago since I had to force myself to follow a daily pattern of functioning or working timetable which is alien to my physical and mental make-up. And as an autonomous worker, I am able to structure my own working day, subject to certain constraints of course, to match my personal biorhythm. This means that I may sometimes have to work into the evening, but, being a night owl, this is no great hardship for me and is certainly a zillion times better than having to step into immediate full-blown action first thing in the morning. To each his own, as they say, but it is still the case that society discriminates against the night owl in favour of the early bird. Perhaps this is how the saying “The early bird catches the worm” came about. Well, I have a new saying: “The night owl catches the mouse.” And that is a much more substantial meal !

Dialogues with God 1

It is said that the conversation went something like this, though I have my doubts:

God, we've fucked up!

God: What’s the matter, why are you looking so glum?

Man: Why d'you think?

G: Come on, don’t play games, tell me.

M: It’s this fucked-up world of ours, that’s what it is.

G: ‘Fucked-up world’? What do you mean?

M: Yeah, fucked-up world, you know what I mean.

G: I’m not sure I do, but even if it is in... err.. poor shape, you only have yourselves to blame. I gave you humans a wonderful place to live, more than you probably deserved, and you’ve… well… gone and spoilt it.

M: Maybe, but YOU made us and you must’ve known we’d fuck it up sooner or later.

G: You overestimate me. I may have made mankind but I had no way of knowing you’d make such an unholy mess of things.

M: But you made us what we are and part of what we are is to fuck up everything around us. That's what we do.

G: Well, that’s only part of you, as you say, most of you is good.

M: I don’t know about that.  I don't think the rest of us is much better, it's just one step away from the part that fucks up.

G: Oh come on, it isn’t sooooo bad, is it?

M: Oh no? Have you taken a look around lately? Have you seen the state of the world? We’re poisoning the air we breathe, tearing up the land we live on, dumping shit in the seas we fish in, wiping out the animals and plants, killing each other in all sorts of crazy wars, eating up the planet, and trashing the environment everywhere. Isn’t that bad enough?

G: Hmmm… I must admit I have noticed some dysfunctional behaviour lately.

M: ‘Dysfunctional’? There’s the understatement of the year! It’s fuckin' suicidal, mate.

G: Hmmm… well if you know you’re making such a mess of everything, why don’t you do something about it instead of whining about it to me?

M: Cos we can’t. You're the only one who can.

G: What do you mean you can’t?

M: Exactly that. We can’t do anything about it cos of the way you’ve made us, and you won't do anything about it cos you don't want to.

G: ‘The way I’ve made you?’ Don’t talk silly. And it's not for me to interfere.

M: There’s nothing silly about it. You’ve made us the way we are and to do the things we do. We kill and destroy cos that’s how you’ve programmed us. We don’t know any better.

G: That’s nonsense. Of course you know better. Anyway, what about free will?

M: Free will? Doesn’t exist, mate. It’s one of those myths. Sounds good and everyone gets all worked up over it but it’s just a myth. We’re hard-wired to piss on everything around us.

G: ‘Hard-wired’ to do what?

M: You heard. You’ve deliberately created us with a serious inbuilt flaw.

G: Oh really? And why would I do that?

M: Cos you’re a sadist. You’ve created us with the instinct to be destructive, so you could sit back and enjoy the action. It’s gone like clockwork for you and you’re loving every minute of it.

G: Don’t talk soft, man! Do you think I wanted this? I know you started off on the wrong foot but I was hoping that, given enough time, mankind would sort things out.

M: We’ve sorted things out alright. We’ve fucked everything up good and proper! And there's no unsorting it now.

G: Well ok, I must admit things are not looking too rosy at the moment, but the show’s not over yet.

M: Not for you, maybe, but the curtain's about to come down on us any minute now.

G: Oh come on, it can't be that bad.  Can it?

G: Oh no? Well take a good look around and tell me again if it can't be that bad.

G: Well, however bad it is, it could be worse, a lot worse.

M: Yeah, sure, we could all be stone dead already!

G: Well there you are then! Just be thankful for small mercies.

M: Oh I am, I am. Just because we’re busy blowing one another away, killing everything that moves and a lot that doesn't, putting shit into our environment and ripping up the planet we live on doesn’t mean things are going badly for us.

G: That’s more like it! All is not lost. And it’s not over till the fat lady sings.

M: Trouble is the fat lady HAS sung, and not just once but lots of times. We’re definitely living on borrowed time now.

G: Oh come now, it isn’t that bad… is it??

M: Not that bad? How can you say that? Have you taken a look round lately? Our species, your single-handed creation, is pumping shit into the air, tearing up the land, poisoning the seas, killing off all plant and animal life, wasting each other in shit-crazy wars, overruning the planet, and buggering up the environment everywhere, and….

It was evidently going to be a long night, as the dialogue was now in playback mode and, I dare say, you know what’s coming next. So, regardless of the outcome of this exchange, I leave you to be the judge of whether we’ve fucked up our planet or not and, perhaps more crucially, whether the fat lady has sung… or not.

Why do they do it?

A little while ago, while jogging through my neighbourhood park, I noticed that several of newly planted saplings, measuring around 8-9 ft in height, were now just broken stumps poking out of the ground! When I got near I saw that each sapling had clearly been snapped off about 8-10 in. from the ground, leaving a thin splintered stem, and the rest of the sapling, probably more than 95% of it, was nowhere to be seen. In one case the vestigial stem or thin trunk was practically level with the soil!

It was more than clear to me that this was the handiwork of vandals, and this was confirmed by the park-keeper on a later occasion who said that the saplings had been planted by a charitable group of nature lovers at their own expense. Worse still was the fact, as he told me, that the broken-off part of the saplings had been cast into the sandpit of the nearby children's playground! Just to rub the point in and add insult to injury, as it were. He also informed me that the stem which was flush with the ground had been broken a second time to make sure it would not re-sprout, as it had started to produce new shoots.

Quite honestly, readers, I’m at a loss for words (but not quite!) at the wanton destruction represented by such an act which, I recognise, is by no means a rare event in today's society. What possible benefit to the perpetrators, probably teenage youths, could such an act of mutilation be? One can at least understand the motive behind such acts as theft, burglary and fraud, unpleasant and reprehensible as they are – we can all understand the money motive behind these – but to commit gross acts of damage to the environment for no discernible gain is just beyond me. And it is all the more worrying because it has a sinister psychological undertone to it.

I say it is “beyond me” but of course one is forced to conclude that the sheer act of destroying public amenities and environmental improvements must bring pleasure to the warped minds of individuals whose mission in life seems to be to undo the efforts of those who strive to improve and embellish our surroundings. Given the nature of the act, it is very likely to be youths, as this seems to be the speciality of young people who have gone astray and have nothing better to do than damage and destroy property and amenities.

All this of course begs the question of what family background these young miscreants come from which makes it okay in their minds to commit such acts of blatant vandalism. One wonders what kind of parents they have, what sort of family life they experience, and what values are inculcated into them at home. The sad fact is that more often than not the children are a reflection of their parents and that the latter are wholly or partly to blame for such anti-social behaviour on the part of their offspring.

Often destructive children are brought up in a household where the parents swear a lot, smoke heavily, drink alcohol in excess, and use physical violence against their partner and kids. Such parents tend to be poorly educated (if at all), constantly in and out of work (more out than in), and badly behaved themselves. So they set their children the worst of examples by their own aberrant and undisciplined conduct. The children naturally take their cue from those closest to them, from those that bring them up and figure large in their life, and then they in turn export such anti-social behaviour into the wider world around them.

Instead of such kids going into a park to play in the nromal way and generally use and enjoy the amenities and the landscape afforded them, their idea of fun is to ruin things for others by wreaking damage and destruction on the environment. They are never so happy as when they are indulging in anti-social behaviour and making life less pleasant for others. They are the ones who will break what can be broken, steal what can be stolen, deface what can be defaced, and generally get up to as much mischief as they can for the hell of it.

This kind of anti-social conduct says a lot about any society. It says that schools have failed their pupils, that parents have failed their children, and that society in general is failing to properly educate, instruct and guide its young people and to instil morals in them which would set them on the right path to being good and considerate citizens. Somewhere along the line, society as a whole is failing and many youngsters grow up without a set of moral guidelines that would prompt them to do good rather than bad. And of course a proportion of them grow up to commit more serious offences and even become hardened criminals.

This is what they
should look like

Well, there you have it. It's all very sad, and though we must be optimistic (I suppose), it rather seems that vandalism, hooliganism and anti-social behaviour in one form or another are here to stay, being the by-products of a society that promotes selfishness, self-interest and opportunism, among other things, and praises materialism to the skies. To create a society of good, honest, caring and considerate citizens, very differen ideals and goals need to be fostered and encouraged. And I'm not talking about creating 'perfect' citizens, simply 'good' citizens, because none of us is or can ever be perfect. Is this an impossible aspiration? It's getting to look like it.

Causa Absentiae II

Me hard at work

Once again I find myself in the unenviable position of having to inform my countless loyal fans out there (yes, you know who you are) and readers of my blog (well, there's me and my shadow for starters) that the current lacuna in my blog posts is due to a very heavy workload (that's me opposite slogging away - dashing fellow, aren't I?) which leaves me no time to enlighten and entertain my large and dedicated following with my lavish servings of the thinking man's pearls of wisdom. 

But at the first opportunity I will be back with a new post in my continuing crusade to explain the world and everything in it to my readers and bring some light to bear on love, life and lederhosen! And the Universe, of course. So be patient, don't despair, the wait will be well worth it, as I will once again titillate your intellectual palate with more gems of penetrative observation and scintillating commentary, and maybe a bit of plain gossip... if you're lucky. 

Me rushing to an
appointment!

In the meantime I must dash, duty calls and work beckons and there's no time to lose if I'm to earn my meagre crust of bread. But in spite of the crushing workload, I have, as you can see, taken time out to inform you, my avid followers (wherever you're hiding), and set your minds at rest. Now how many other bloggers would bother to do that? Not many, I bet. My followers may not number in the thousands or hundreds, and may even struggle to reach double figures, but the handful of acolytes I have are worth their weight in gold - I can't afford to lose a single one of them!

Oh, and one other thing while I'm about it... err... never mind, I'll leave it till my return, I don't have the time and it can wait.