Apologies All Round!

Today the art of the public apology for sins committed, be they great or not so great, has become big business. It's cool, you might say, and everyone's into it, but most especially those in government and in high positions in our society. The apology goes out on television, is broadcast on the radio, published in the papers and posted on the internet to millions, if not billions, of apology-hungry people nationwide and globally. The apology is glaringly public, the contrition a necessary evil, and the shame, though optional, is highly recommended if the apology is to have maximum impact.

A president gives a speech making a public apology for long-standing injustices committed by his or an earlier administration (even though he may not have been born at the time), a prime minister issues a statement apologising for not foreseeing the disastrous consequences of a certain social or economic policy, the governor of the state bank says sorry for having misread the prevailing financial mood and failed abysmally to act to protect depositors' savings, the state chancellor apologises for a brutal genocide practised by a barbaric wartime regime (again perhaps before he and his ministers were born), a military general says sorry for having unthinkingly made insensitive remarks about the death of civilians through the careless actions of his men, captains of industry say sorry for their short-sightedness and the ruination of the commercial enterprises in their charge, chief executives of national banks say sorry for having been reckless and brought the banking system into disrepute and to its knees, police chiefs issue a contrite apology for having bungled an investigation that resulted in the death of one or more innocent people, social services say sorry for having failed through neglect or oversight to prevent the death of an abused child, and so on and so forth.

Everyone is on the apologies bandwagon in this day and age as a quick-fix solution. Apologies are made to native peoples for their unjust treatment at the hands of the colonising nation centuries ago or to the relatives of persons wrongly convicted and executed many years back. Posthumous pardons are granted to those previously considered to be brutal murderers or enemies of the state in an earlier time. Apologies are issued and accepted, be it resentfully, and everyone gets a warm tingly feeling that the decent thing has been done and goodness has triumphed over evil. Amazing what curative powers a simple apology has!

I may have burnt your house down and/or destroyed your business and/or robbed you of all your money and possessions and/or raped and murdered your wife and/or kidnapped and killed your children, but at least I have the decency to apologise for it. Not everyone would do that. I may have ruined your life, blown away your family, upended your world, robbed you of a future, cheated you of happiness, but heyyyy... I'm big enough to say sorry, so come on, man, be fair!

Apologies fly around in all directions, from the exalted few on high downwards to the hoi polloi at the bottom, from lowly functionaries upwards to government ministers, from officials across to their peers (and of course the greater the status of the apology-giver the more it is relished by the public). The apologies market is looking healthy and the apologists are jostling for position to let the world know how sorry they are for some transgression they or others were found to have committed in this or in another lifetime, today or hundreds of years ago. They are all pretty decent apologies, some decidedly better than others, but probably the ones most to be admired and marvelled at are those of the bankers and the captains of industry. Having been caught red-handed with their hand in the till and with their apologies still fresh on their lips they slope away with shedfuls of 6-to-7-figure payouts, bonuses, redundancy payments and pensions to compensate them for having had to resign their position. They scurry away into the shadows relying on the public's short memory and looking forward to spending their princely compensation packages well away from the public eye. After all, they have earned the astronomical sums paid to them, havent't they? Did they not say they were sorry for making a mess of everything and ruining the lives of so many who depended on them? Surely that is enough?

What is it about our society today that everyone is expected to apologise for their misdeeds in exchange for being sent off with a mild scolding? And the worst part about it is that we oblige those in high office to apologise for the wrongdoings of others long gone and long dead, thus making the apology all but worthless since it comes from those with no involvement in the offence. We have simply grown accustomed to receiving apologies from those who govern and control our lives. But is an apology meant to take the place of legal sanctions? And is it just the highly-placed who can say sorry and get away with wrongdoing and gross negligence or can the common man do the same thing? It would seem not. There would appear to be one rule for industrial and financial potentates and another for Joe Bloggs in his council flat.

But what happens when mere spoken apologies are no longer enough? Will we require offenders to don sackcloth and ashes next? Will we need to see wailing, beating of breasts and gnashing of teeth? Perhaps some self-flagellation? Will we have spectacles held of high officials and company heads presenting their apologies in the form of dramatised apologias? Will we pay for tickets to see heads of state and other leaders apologising for past, present and future mistakes and screw-ups? The possibilities are enormous and I can just see the potential for the merchandising industry to cash in on this with DVDs of industrial magnates and political leaders offering their abject apologies to the public, and with t-shirts and mugs etc inscribed with the apologies of the same high-ranking decision-makers. And more importantly will all this compensate us for the fact that in many cases the wrongdoers will get off scott-free in return for having apologised, be it ever so cynically?

Oh well, whatever the future outcome of all this, if you can't beat them, join them, as they say, and accordingly I offer up my own apologies, and I can only hope you will accept them...

Bankers Rule, ok?

BELOW is a picture of some typical bankers. Well, pig bankers at least, but you get the analogy. So what would you do if you got your hands on them? Throttle them? Hang them up by their toes? Lock them up in some deep dark dungeon and throw the key away. Have them flogged in a public square until they repented of their sins and converted to being decent human beings? Sentence them to 20 years' community service? They certainly deserve any one of these punishments. BUT of course in the real world most of them get off scott-free, keep their ill-gotten gains, continue with their opulent lifestyles and the trappings of wealth and hang on for better times round the corner when they can get into some other scam to cream off the wealth of the country and fleece the proverbial man-in-the-street.

BANKERS and financiers at all levels indulged in an orgy of unseemly and reckless profiteering from shady and questionable deals, not just the upper echelons. Lots and lots of them had their snouts in the trough of easy pickings, though now they have run for cover and exhibit wide-eyed innocence for those who are gullible enough to believe in them ever again.

THEIR deep-seated greed and avarice and overweening ambition to enrich themselves beyond all measure have brought the world to its economic knees, causing untold misery and hardship to millions of people all over the planet. And, make no mistake about it, unless the banking ethos were to be radically transformed and the bankers and their like were to be reined in, they would do it all over again, perhaps not in the same way, but certainly in some other equally morally questionable and financially unethical manner. Because the truth of the matter is that they just can't help themselves.

I wonder if there is anything in the fact that 'banker' and 'wanker' are such a perfect rhyme? Could they really be more wanker than banker or does it just seem that way? Or am I just being unkind to them? Perhaps they really have a heart of gold and it was all just a horrible mistake that tooks us all by surprise, including the bankers and all the other money-men. Perhaps they are really misunderstood as a species and deep down inside have a heart of gold just bursting with fellow feeling. Perhaps too they're worth all the billions of pounds we've given them to keep them afloat and in business even though they won't lend us a penny of it now to keep us in business! It's a funny old world, isn't it?

BELOW is another image of a banker, this time in recognisable human form but still up to his old tricks, as he prepares to give us the slip and run off with the takings. We never had that sort of trouble with the old bed mattress, did we? It may not have paid us interest but at least our hard-earned money was sure to be there the next day when we looked under it.