Christmas Thoughts I

So here we are again, at the threshold of another Christmas, poised to enjoy ourselves, by hook or by crook, and dreading what may go wrong over this critical period. The festivities have begun, Xmas cards sent out and pre-Xmas bashes attended; Xmas shopping is well under way if not already done, presents have been bought, wrapped up and some of them even given out, and Xmas fare has been brought in and stuffed in the larder and the fridge which is now groaning under the weight. There may be some last-minute things to do, some last-minute arrangements to see to, some last-minute gifts or food items to get in before you can finally sit back and contemplate Christmas Day with equanimity and without suffering panic attacks. Anything missing, anything not right, anything that needs fixing, must be attended to now because time is quickly running out.

Well, this is one side of Christmas, maybe the side most familiar to all of us. But there is another side. This is the time of the year when everything is magnified, when anything that is bad in your life will be felt all the keener and appear all the worse. If, for some reason, there is sadness in your heart, the sadness will seem all that greater. If... your life has taken a wrong turning, you are missing the company of someone, you have lost a loved one, certain relationships have gone sour or broken down, certain hopes have been dashed, aspirations snuffed out, dreams wrecked... if you feel you have been treated badly or snubbed by certain friends or relations... if you feel alone, forgotten, unloved, deprived of the affection of certain persons... in short, if things are not as they should be and your life is in a mess or seems empty and meaningless, then Christmas will heighten your sadness and your sorrow and, though you might put on a brave face and try to join in with others in the festive spirit, deep down inside you’re hurting and you cannot wait for Christmas to be over so you don’t have to pretend to be merry and joyful and happy and you won’t have to take part in all the festive activities that have become a part of the Christmas ethos.

Yet there is worse to be found in this world... there are those who are truly alone, who have no-one to care about them, who are deprived of human warmth and affection, who, for one reason or another, are isolated from society in general... the old and the infirm, the mentally and physically handicapped, those who have little or no family or friends or have been abandoned over the years by their close ones. There will be people who dread Christmas, fearful of spending it alone or in the company of strangers or persons indifferent to or resentful of them. Essentially they are the four h’s... the homeless, the helpless, the hopeless, and the hapless, and they are unlikely to feel much festive cheer and comfort at this time, rather their plight will be accentuated and they will feel even more benighted and more bereft.

Truly this is a world of many divisions and discrepancies and life is a constant struggle to survive and to be happy for as long as we have breath in our body. Christmas time sharpens our senses, concentrates our minds, intensifies our emotions and exaggerates our reactions. At Christmas the good seems better but the bad seems worse. There are no shades of grey, only black and white. Relationships are tested to breaking point and tolerance is stretched to the limit. The demands and upsets of Christmas can constitute a tinder-box. It needs just that little spark to set it off. But, with all that said, Christmas can be a time of great joy, of togetherness, of camaraderie, of celebration and goodwill, even, dare i say it, of Christian charity and love, when we all commemorate in our own way the birth of a baby those many centuries ago who, whether we believe in him or not, shook this world to its very foundations and transformed it forever.

Through my window

The sun shines through my window and illuminates a narrow slice of the room,

outside the sun is a dazzling splash of pale yellow light low on the horizon,

it lights up a corner of the sky, still magnificent as it slowly sets in the west,

the dark leafless trees are silhouetted against its flaming gold splendour,

frosty corners of the window panes glint magically in the dying sunlight,

outside freshly-fallen snow blankets the ground and tops the garden wall;

The sun is a spectacle of golden dazzling light but it’s a sun that gives no heat,

it is a cold sun in a harsh winter and there are many more chilly days ahead.

From the warmth of my heated room I peer through the window and shiver,

only necessity will persuade me to venture out in this cold winter’s chill.

In a matter of minutes the fiery disc of the sun will dip below the horizon,

then a sudden darkness will descend upon a silent wintry landscape,

and with the coming of night will come a bone-piercing numbing cold,

and the only sight dimly perceived in the pale moonlight through my window

will be a carpet of snow maintaining all things in a long dreamless sleep.

Snow!

Part One:

Well here it is again... snow! This year's winter is set to look more like the sort of winters we used to get when I was a child where snow was pretty well on the menu every year around this time. As I write, late at night, it is snowing fairly hard and the landscape is gradually turning white. And the short-term forecast is that snow will continue to fall throughout the night and perhaps into tomorrow. So we shall see what we shall see. But snow or no snow, it's damn cold!

Part Two:

It's all over. At least as far as the next few days are concerned. It didn't snow in this part of the country today and now it's all clearing, moving northwards to hit those tough northerners.. But I dare say if we don't get any more snow this year the likelihood is that we will get some early next year. Pity though that it never coincides with Christmas or at least Christmas Day anymore.

Part Three:

Snow or no snow, it's coooold... brrrrrrrrrr! And once snow has settled in any quantity, ice will begin to form in the days that follow and that's even more treacherous than snow. Oh well, happy days!

Hey, this is looking very civilised... a handful of cars moving along in a very orderly fashion, considerately spaced out, all very gentlemanly! Not the usual bumper-to-bumper crawl of hundreds of cars that we are used to seeing. On the other hand they are probably in some god-forsaken out-of-the way part of the country where five cars in a row are already seen as traffic congestion!

At my desk

That's me in the picture at my desk, working on my computer, and pausing to look out of the window in front of me. Well, not quite. I'm not that young, nor that slim, nor that cute... except in my mind, of course...hehhe... And when I was the same age as the youth in the picture there was no such thing as a desktop or laptop computer, or many other things, come to that. But I do pause from time to time from my work at my computer to look out of the window ahead of me. That much is true. Though i don't stuff my hands in my pockets!

This morning when I paused from my work to look out of my study window it was grey and gloomy outside, and I knew it was cold too, the scattered patches of frost testified to that. But it was also snowing. A light sprinkling of snowflakes that were falling sideways blown by the breeze. But it didn’t last very long. In fact it wasn't really proper snow, it was more like sleet. In less than an hour it had come to an end and there was just a light dusting here and there which I knew was not going to be there for long. And by late afternoon there was no evidence that it had been there. The grey sky was still there though. And the wind. And the cold.

...........

It's on dark days like this that I often find myself daydreaming. Funnily enough I seldom daydream when the weather is fine and the sun is out - that's a sure turnoff. But when it's dull and dreary like today or, even better, when it's raining or sleeting or snowing, my mind begins to wander as I stare out of the window at the wintry scene outside. There's nothing like grey and grim weather to get the creative juices welling up, assuming one has any, of course. So here I sit at my desk on just such a day and waiting for inspiration to flow into me and creativity to flow out... I only hope it won't be a long wait!

The above pic was taken in a more clement season some while back and gives a more faithful image of the view from my study-cum-office window. Below is the garden and beyond that is a park. Not a bad view, eh? It has a calming effect on me and helps me work. It also helps me write this blog when I can spare a moment. It is my window on the world, you might say.