Dialogues with God III

Man:  Lord, are you there?

(silence)

M:  Can you hear me, Lord?

(moments pass)

God: Yes, of course I’m here. You know I'm always here whenever you're ready for me.

M:  Then why were you not answering?

G:  Because you weren't quite ready for me to answer you.

M:  What does that mean?

G:  It means that you were not willing me to answer your call rightaway.

M:  I wasn’t?

G:  No, you weren’t.

M:  Then why was I calling you?

G:  What I mean is that you wanted to do it your way and that’s why I wasn’t able to answer your call straightaway.

M:  Do it my way? I really don’t understand you sometimes. What was my way, anyway?

G:  Your way was to allow a couple of minutes to go by before I made my entrance.

M:  And why would I want that, Your Omniscience?

G:  Let’s just say it was a sort of pregnant pause for dramatic effect.

M:  You say the oddest of things sometimes. It’s almost as if I were controlling you or something and you had no will of your own?

G:  Well, have I?

Lord, are you there?

M:  What kind of a question is that?!
G:  Just a question. Don’t take it the wrong way.

M:  You know, there are times when I don’t understand you at all. Anyone would think you’re suggesting you don’t exist in your own right and that you’re a figment of my imagination.

G:  Well do I and aren’t I?

M:  What???

G:  Well, look, have you considered that I might only exist in your mind? I mean, I think I might exist in some form or other but I can't be sure, and it's just as likely that I don't exist at all. 

M:  That’s ridiculous! It doesn’t make any sense, no sense at all.

G:  Well can you actually see me?

M:  Well no, not as such, but…

G:  Can you hear me?

M:  Yes, of course.... in a way.

G:  In what way?

M:  Not of course in the way that I here other people, or as some loud voice booming down from on-high, that’s just in films, but as a voice in my... well... in my mind, let's say.

G:  Well there you are!

M:  Where am I?

G:  I could be just a figment of your imagination, a sensory illusion, another aspect of yourself,

M:  Oh I don’t think so. You’re real alright! And being God, you communicate in your own special way.

G:  Well, okay, if you say so.

M:  What do you mean “if I say so”? Don’t you know?

G:  As I say, I’m not too sure I do.

M:  What does that mean now?

G:  It means quite simply that I seem to exist for some and not to exist for others. It's really confusing.

M:  Oh come off it! You either exist or you don’t, you can’t both exist and not exist! Anyway, what are you saying? That you might not exist and that I’m imagining you now? That all this conversation is just in my head?

G:  Well, yes, I suppose that’s more or less what I’m saying. Sorry about that and all. 

M:  So taking this one step further, you’re saying in effect that you probably don’t really exist as such but that you may appear to exist for some people because they conjure you up in their imagination, is that right?

G:  That’s it in essence. Put bluntly, I only exist for those, such as yourself, who want me to exist and who will me into existence.

M:  But that means that you don’t exist, that I've made you up, as have many others.

G:  I suppose I am saying that, yes. It’s a bit like with dragons and fairies and the like. They exist for those who believe they exist and their effects are seemingly felt by those who believe in them.

M:  And who believes in dragons and fairies nowadays? I don’t know of anyone who really believes all that nonsense.

G:  Well, okay, perhaps there’s not so many who believe in all that anymore, but you take my point.

M:  I take your point, God, but you’re asking me to accept that I’m imagining this dialogue with you now because you don’t really exist except in my head. Is that it?

G:  In a nutshell, yes!

M:  If you weren’t God, I would tell you what you could do with yourself now, Your Omnipotence!

G:  Come, come now.... don't get upset.

M:  How can I not get upset when Your Almightiness is implying that I’m out of my tiny mind, that I’m a complete loon, and that none of this is happening.

Where are you, God?

G:  ………….....………..

M:  That’s what you’re saying, isn’t it? That  I’m having this conversation with myself because I'm hallucinating or something! In short, that I’m bonkers, stark raving mad, and therefore that I should be locked up in some institution for the mentally insane!!

G:  ………..………….

M:  Well, cat got your tongue, Your Divinity? Lost for words now? Speak up, damn you!!

G:  ………..………….

M:  I said speak up!!! Where’ve you gone now?! Lost the argument and ran off with your tail between your legs???

G: ………...........……………...

M:  Well??? Say something, for God’s sake!!!! No, no, not for God’s sake, for MY sake!!!

G:  ………...........…..........……………


M:  Speak!!!! Why don’t you damn well say something?!? And where in heaven’s name are you now?!! Heyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Warden:  Quiet please in Cell No.13! You’re upsetting the other inmates and stopping them from sleeping.

M:  *&a#p;*^!!+="$!$*!!!*@*&am\;*^!!$%$%£@*&a##p;*$£!!!!!

W:  I said quiet!! If you don’t calm down and shut up you’ll be medicated to shut you up! We’re not putting up with this sort of disruption in this facility. Go back to bed and stop talking to yourself!!

M:  No, please... let me out... please let me out!! I’ve got to get out of here.... I've got to find God!!!!