Into the New Year...

We're well into another year, 2013, and for the superstitious the 13 on the end may not be too welcome, but could it be worse than the last year, or, come to that, the last few years with all economic crisis and all the doom and gloom that accompanies it? We'll see, and we haven't long to wait. By all accounts, it's more of the same and so far doesn't look very different, but let's be fair and give it a chance, it may surprise us.

After the Christmas festivities and the emotions of New Year's Eve, the entry of the New Year can only be an anticlimax. I had hoped we might get some snow around Christmas, but it was not to be. Last year it came in February and was substantial and made up for none around Christmas. Weather patterns have changed quite a bit since I was a boy and the seasons seem to have shifted. But why should the weather not change over the years, everything else has!

The world today is a very different one from that just 2-3 decades ago, and if we go back a little further it's like being on another planet! Thanks to scientific discovery and technological invention our world is in constant rapid change, with computers and mobile phones and other electronic devices leading the way and transforming our lives for better or worse. Either way, we have no control over these developments and we strive to at least keep up with them, not always with success. But there seems to be no other way to go even if we wanted to.

As our world around us changes, we too change with the advancing years. Some of us change in tandem with the changes going on around us and some of us lag behind, the gap growing wider with each successive technological innovation and new way of functioning in an ever more complicated society. I know that as electronic gadgets and devices become ever more advanced and supposedly easier and more intuitive, instead of simplifying things for me they complicate my life. The phone and the computer which were so easy to use once upon a time now require a lot of concentration and effort from me, as they are so replete with functions and options that I hardly know what I'm doing anymore. Even what seems to be a straightforward list of options presented to me becomes an almost insurmountable barrier of proposed new changes that leaves me spoilt for choice but confused for the same reason, so I tick one box and hope it's the right one for me!

Well, we've had the snows, the cold frosty weather, the icy winds, the flooding rains, the gradual thaw, and now in mid-February things have warmed up a little, but there's no guarantee that the sudden onset of mild weather will take us into spring. Many times before we've had worse weather as we've gone into March and April, and there have been years where we did not get any consistent warm-to-hot temperatures till July! From this you will deduce that here in the United Kingdom the weather is highly changeable and unpredictable from day to day, hence the reason we Brits talk about it so much and have made it our number one topic of conversation calculated to bore the pants of any non-Briton! But there you have it - it is what it is and has made us what we are and this isn't likely to change for several millennia to come when there might occur a massive meteorological upheaval. 

And this is where I finally conclude this post which has gone on for rather longer than I had anticipated and has been revisited various times by me over several weeks in an attempt to complete it before the end of this year and the advent of a new year, namely 1914! 

When is a Drought Not a Drought?

That is the question that is exercising my mind at this moment: When is a drought NOT a drought? And the answer? When it's been raining nearly every day for three weeks! At least it's not what we normally understand by the term 'drought'.

Rainy drought conditions!

You see, my friends, ever since the "drought" was made official and a water hosepipe ban was put in place, as well as other restrictions on the use of water, heaven's sluice-gates have opened up and it has rained on us almost every day to some degree or other, which is just as well, really, as our gardens get watered at least during this extreme spell of dry weather!

And believe me, there's nothing worse than a wet drought! A dry drought I know how to deal with, but a wet drought... now that's a different thing altogether and the "rule-book" says nothing about that. How does one begin to tackle a wet drought? The Authorities tell you one thing and your senses witness another. Is the weather just being bloody-minded to wrong-foot meteorologists and hoodwink the rest of us or are we seeing contradiction where there is none?

As rainy conditions stop us from going into the garden to deal with the drought by chucking a few buckets of water over our more precious plants, we see all the vegetation really taking off with all this dry rain falling on us and before we know it we have a jungle to cut down!. What are we to do? Brave the rain to counter the drought or weather the drought and let the rain do its worst? Either way, we're damned if we do and damned if we don't! 

Could this be the future?

And to make matters worse, my confounded brolly gave up the ghost the other day before a sudden powerful gust when I was out and I was left helpless before a possible imminent downpour of drought-induced rain. Fortunately the drought held off till I was back home before unleashing its stores of rain. Now I'm brolly-less and can't find a shop that sells them. Cue to go online at Amazon and get one from there together with a pair of garden secateurs and perhaps a revamped mackintosh and some sort of cat repeller to stop cats pooping in my garden every day!



09.05.2012
It is three days later and the drought continues with more rain every day. Wet boggy ground and mud patches in gardens and parks are visual testimony to the cumulative effects of a watery drought. The hosepipe has become irrelevant as Nature is being kind to us and supplying in abundance what we may not obtain from the water companies. But the special drought restrictions continue and there's no sign yet of their ending. With dry weather like this, umbrella sellers will be doing a rip-roaring trade.

Should a period of real dry weather, not to say drought, come upon us one day soon, we'll need a new word to define it, given that drought now conjures up visions of constant wet and rainy weather! The only viable terms that come to mind at the moment are 'real-drought' or, 'drought-for-real' or better still 'dry-drought'. Yes, the last of these has a certain pleasant alliterative ring to it. We will have 'droughts' that are wet and then 'dry-droughts' that are true periods of dry weather. Bingo! Problem solved! And the English language is the richer for it.

I rest my case and spare the reader's patience.

The Great British Summer 2

You might think that having had a brief bash at this topic a little while back, there's not much more to say on it and that I would leave it well enough alone now. Well, you might think that and it does make sense, but I simply can’t stay off such a sexy subject. It is after all a major British preoccupation and needs to be given its due weight and consideration. One post hardly does it justice, especially as it was a rather short one and some time ago.

The thing is that although it is notionally still summer here, Summer doesn’t seem to know it and appears to be attempting an early exit stage left. It has packed its bags and is nearly out the door to judge by the mix of unseasonal weather we’ve been getting these past few days. Wind, rain, cold... cold, rain, wind.. interspersed of course with patches of bright sunny weather to give us a false sense of security. Those foolish enough to go out in thin summery clothes and without a brolly risk being chilled by a gusting wind and soaked by a sudden downpour. The sun then comes out again but the damage is done.

The other day, as I set off for my daily jog, dark clouds began to gather, shutting out the sun which had been shining up to that point, albeit rather bashfully, the wind picked up and a light rain began to fall. Determined not to be put off by this sudden turn, I carried on towards the adjacent park and, once there, I got into my stride, but it was not looking good. The wind made me feel cold, the rain, which admittedly was not much more than a drizzle, was starting to wet me, and the gloom made it feel like the end of the world!

And yet within just minutes the rain had fizzled out, the wind had slackened, the clouds had parted, and the sun was sending its golden rays down on this part of the world again. The weather had gone from a nice sunny day, to wind, rain and gloom, to a nice sunny day again in the space of under ten minutes! Or was it five? I can't be sure, as I wasn’t wearing a watch. One thing's for sure is that had I drifted off to sleep while it was still warm and sunny and woken a few minutes later, I would never have known that the weather had turned downright nasty for a few minutes!


Anyway, coming back to Summer’s short lease ("And summer's lease hath all too short a date", W. S., Sonnet 18), at least in these northern climes, we may yet get some decent warm days, perhaps an Indian summer... or two... before the warm weather goes on leave till next year. As I wrote these lines of inspired clear-sighted observation, I was sat by the window where I was intermittently blinded by bright sunlight that almost obliterated the image on my monitor or plunged into premature twilight by a gloom that made me glad I could touch-type! (I speak in the past tense because it's been a couple of days between drafting this post and publishing it.)

If you’ve stayed with me up to this point, you’re a hardy soul and to be congratulated. But I’m not done yet and you might not last till the end, so you may still fall at a hurdle before the finish! I still have to recount an escapade of mine a couple of years back when torrential rain was unleashed on us after days of hot muggy mid-summer weather. As the rain came down in bucketfuls, I decided to make the most of it and, in imitation of something I had done on a trip to Brazil, I stripped, donned a pair of swimming-trunks and rushed out into the back garden.

I then strode about the garden, rejoicing in the feel of the cool rain on my skin. It washed and refreshed me, relieving me of the hot sweatiness of the day's heat. Within a few short moments my hair was drenched and so were my swim-shorts and the rainwater was pouring down me, bathing me in its cool caress, renewing me, cleansing me. It was such a wonderful feeling and I stayed out in the rain for as long as it lasted, enjoying every minute of it. But eventually the storm began to abate, the rain slackened off, and I looked silly standing there in the garden in my swim-shorts soaked to the core, so I made a hasty retreat back indoors and straight to the bathtub! Days like that are very rare. Not so much in terms of the rain, there’s enough of that alright, but it’s usually not warm enough for one to go out in the rain in just skimpy shorts without feeling cold.

 As for the similar incident in Brazil which I mentioned above, I was at a sort of out-of-town guest-house at the time, what they call a pousada there, when the heavens opened up in a spectacular way so characteristic of a tropical thunderstorm. Like a shot I changed into my swim-trunks and made a bee-line for the swimming-pool. As I circled round in the pool the rain cascaded down furiously like an immense heaven-sent waterfall. And I for one couldn't get enough of it. The combination of the pool water below and the torrential rainwater above was one of the greatest feelings I've ever had and is up there with s.e.x. in terms of good feeling. It certainly lasted much longer! Everyone else in the hotel must have thought I was out of my tiny mind as they stared out at me from the shelter and comfort of the pousada, but I didn’t care. In fact I felt sorry for them, they didn’t know what they were missing, poor sods! I could have spent most of the day splashing about in the pool as the rain beat down on me, but it was over all too soon, though the memory has stayed with me ever since.

Well, that’s all for now, luvvies, though I know you want more. But, who knows, I might come back to this fascinating topic another time.

Britain under Water

Giant waves, driven by gale-force winds, pound Britain’s sea defences and threaten homes along the coast.

Flood waters sweep through the town centre, past closed shops. Ducks and swans however make the most of the new-found watercourse.

A car forces a path through a water-logged street which will soon become impassable as more rain falls overnight.

A police officer wades through knee-deep flood water in rescue operations throughout the stricken area. A bridge finally collapses under mounting pressure from a fast-flowing river swollen by torrential rains. A rescue team takes to a dinghy to search for survivors and others trapped in buildings by the fast rising water level. Storm or no storm, Fido must be walked and, if the worse comes to the worst, a swim in the park is no bad thing!

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So is this violent weather the result of global warming or is it just the start of a bad winter? Is global warming the result of the greenhouse effect or is the earth going through one of its hot phases? Is mankind upsetting the earth's weather patterns and provoking violent climatic excesses that will eventually lead to disasters and catastrophes on a global scale? Time will tell.

. . . . .

But one thing's for sure, regardless of the effects of global warming, man has caused untold damage to the earth over the centuries and has wreaked destruction on his environment in a way that could not easily have been imagined. No other creature on God's earth has inflicted such deep scars on the face of our planet and produced such widespread pollution. What else do we need to make us act? Global warming and the disasters that come with it are the nails in our coffin lid that may seal our fate. And, i have to say, we will have deserved it!